Tuesday, December 6, 2011

New NHL Conference Names

The National Hockey League recently announced it would be realigning into two western conferences of 8 teams each and two eastern conferences of 7 teams each. Since then, Twitter has been abuzz with #NHLConferenceNames. Here are my contributions:

  • Western Hockey, Central Hockey, Atlantic Hockey, Hockey East -- sorry, those names are already taken

  • B. Sutter, B. Sutter, R. Sutter, D. Sutter

  • Original 3, Original 2, Original 1, All-Expansion

  • Keenan, Demers, Bowman, Brooks

  • Red, Blue, White, Rouge

  • Democratic, Republican, Libéral, Conservative

  • Big 8, Little 8, Big 7, Little 7 -- The Big 7 has eight teams, the Little 8 has seven?

  • Athos, Porthos, Aramis, D'Artagnan

  • Laurier, Aylmer, Montcalme, Wolfe

  • Coastal, Central, Capital, Century -- borrowing from the NFL

  • Pacific, Prairie, Penn, Periphery -- Peninsulas may work better than Periphery

  • Smith, Jones, Tremblay, Fraser

  • Darryl, Daryl, Derrel, Darrell -- none of which attract the attention of my spellchecker

  • Zamboni, CCM, Nike, Reebok

  • Iñigo Montoya, Fezzik, Westley, Dread Pirate Roberts -- But wasn't Westley the Dread Pirate Roberts? Yes, and so was Iñigo Montoya, after the end of the story.

  • Movers, Shakers, Shovers, Makers

  • Nordiques, Sioux, Whalers, Rockies -- in honor of teams that are no more (unless the Spirit Lake Sioux win their lawsuit)

  • Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy -- Alcott was from New England

  • Atlantic, Pacific, Chesapeake, Freshwater

  • Numero Uno, Number One, Numéro Un, Number Two

  • Norris, Smythe, Patrick, Adams -- Classic names

  • CIA, KGB, MI5, Mossad

  • Prince of Wales, Duke of Cambridge, Duke of Wessex, Elected American -- this last division would include Washington


  • LeBlanc, Hnatyshyn, Sauvé, Léger -- the most recent deceased Governors General of Canada

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